Three Wackos In The Search For The Village Idiot
by The Three Wackos and Company
Summary: A parody of a parody. The Next Fic in The Three Wackos Story (If you don't know who the Wackos are here's your chance). Two thumbs up by Schnabeltier. "The Best of the Three Wackos." Schnabeltier. Chapter 6 now up! Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

The Three Wackos In The Search for the Village Idiot  
  
Disclaimer: We the Wackos don't own anything to do with Monty Python.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Guys guess what movie I just got!" yelled Matt as he walked up to Jez and Kana.  
  
"Tarzan!" yelled Kana.  
  
"No."  
  
"Esca?" guessed Jez.  
  
"Nope, Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Want to come over after school and watch it?" asked Matt.  
  
"Sure, sounds like fun." Said Jez.  
  
"KK." Agreed Kana.  
  
"See you then. Don't forget to bring your lightsabers."  
  
"We won't."  
  
Later that day Matt opened the door to let Jez and Kana in.  
  
"By the way I invited Sarah. She'll be here in 10 minutes." Said Jez.  
  
"Thanks for inviting her to my house."  
  
"I figured you wouldn't mind."  
  
"I don't."  
  
"Then why did you say that?"  
  
"Because with Kana, Sarah and you over, my house will be destroyed!"  
  
"Ohhh.ya, your right."  
  
"Just promise you won't leave with out cleaning up this time. It took me three hours to clean the ceiling after you decided to make pancakes last time you were over and lets not talk about the time before that."  
  
Jez and Kana grinned at each other.  
  
"What it was at least original." Stated Kana.  
  
"I'll give it that."  
  
"Okay I promise." Said Jez.  
  
"Kana?"  
  
"No pancakes.Okay I promise."  
  
"Sarah said to start the movie without her."  
  
"Okay lets starts."  
  
Matt led them to the living room and got the DVD out. As he pulled the box off of the shelf it started to glow.  
  
"Shiny!!" yelled Kana.  
  
"Pretty." said Jez as she starred into the light.  
  
"Don't go towards the light!!" yelled Matt.  
  
"I can't help it, it's so beautiful." Said Jez as she waddled towards the DVD box. (Ten points to anyone who can tell us what movie that was from)  
  
Matt dropped the box and tackled Jez. Jez looked up at him in shock.  
  
"Ewww.Get off of me."  
  
Matt rolled off of her. They both got up off the floor. Both looked at Kana, because she looked as if she had seen a ghost.  
  
"She must have seen a Russian." Whispered Matt.  
  
"Most likely."  
  
They turned to look at what Kana had seen. There floating in front of the TV was the DVD box. The box opened and closed as it talked to them.  
  
"Who's the moron who dropped me? Come on fess up." Matt raised his hand. "Don't do that again, I just had my box waxed. Any ways I am here to tell you that you will find the Village Idiot today."  
  
"Yay!!" all three wait to be transported somewhere. After waiting for four minutes Kana asked,  
  
"Aren't you going to transport us?"  
  
"Some one has to put me in first."  
  
"Ohhh.Ok."  
  
Matt walked over and took the DVD out and put it in the player.  
  
"The Search for the Village Idiot begins!" yelled the box. In a flash all three were gone.  
  
Well that's all for Chapter 1 I hope everyone enjoyed the starting of yet another Wacko fic. Don't forget to Review before you click the back button.  
  
~Kana, Matt, Jez~ 


	2. Enter Patsy and Hatsy

Disclaimer: We don't own anything to do with Monty Python or anything else that happens to pop up in this fic.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"I am King Arthur.what the.where am I?"  
  
The DVD box appeared in front of King Arthur.  
  
"You are in temporary limbo, until the Wackos find the Village Idiot. Your knights will be joining you as well."  
  
"Knights?.What Knights?"  
  
In a flash a group of Knights appeared.  
  
"Those Knights."  
  
"Ohh.Never meet them."  
  
"Well, go talk to them until I come back."  
  
"And when is that?"  
  
"When the Wackos find the Village Idiot."  
  
With that the DVD box disappeared.  
  
"Ohh.Dear We're doomed."  
  
  
  
"You sleep like a dog!" yelled a voice out of the distance.  
  
Matt opened his eyes and saw he was curled up at the bottom of a castle wall. He got up and looked at the man that had insulted him.  
  
"At least I don't lick dogs!" yelled Matt.  
  
"How dare you?!"  
  
"I don't dare, it's just you can't hurt me from way up there."  
  
"I wouldn't have said that if I were you." Said a voice behind Matt. Matt turned and what he saw shocked him.  
  
"Mr. Witikko1 what are you doing here?"  
  
"Who's Mr. Witikko? I'm Patsy."  
  
"Patsh? As in coconut beater?"  
  
"The one and only. Would you like to see my coconuts?"  
  
Matt tried to protest but it was to late. Patsy was grabbing for his coconuts.  
  
"Noooooooooo!!!"  
  
Matt covered his eyes. But curiosity started to tug at him. So he took a peek.  
  
"They're very fuzzy, feel them."  
  
"I'll take your word for it."  
  
"You don't know what you're missing."  
  
"You're right and I don't want to know."  
  
"Are you sure?" Patsy said in a British accent that Matt hadn't noticed before.  
  
"What's up with the accent?"  
  
"What accent? You're the one with the bloody accent."  
  
"What I'm speaking normal."  
  
"Sure *coughliercough*"  
  
"Whatever, where is Jez and Kana?"  
  
"Ahhh.ATTACK OF THE COCONUTS!!!" yelled a voice from the woods by the castle. A moment later Matt saw Jez run out of the forest.  
  
"Jez?!"  
  
"Run away!!!"  
  
Matt looked behind her and saw.another Patsy. He took a double take and realized that it wasn't another Patsy. He was just dressed like him.  
  
"That's Hatsy." Stated Patsy.  
  
"Hatsy?" asked Jez as she tried to slow down, but alas she could not. She continued at Witikko Warp Speed2 (WWS), until she hit the castle wall.  
  
She was laying on her back when a strange liquid rained down on her.  
  
"Ewww.What was that for?"  
  
She looked up at the guy who had dumped it on her.  
  
"You ran into the castle you son of a motherless dog."  
  
"I'm not a man!!!"  
  
"Could have fooled me."  
  
"Don't make me come up there!"  
  
"You're hot when you're mad." stated Matt.  
  
As she turned to kill him a pile of sewage landed on her.  
  
"That's it I'm coming up there!!!" scream Jez.  
  
She ran to the door and tried to get in.  
  
"Jez perhaps if we had a plan."  
  
"Okay, but mark my words I'll be back. To the forest!!!"  
  
With that they ran for the forest.  
  
Mr. Witikko: energetic English/German teacher (HeirVeh from the Three Wackos go to the Jedi Temple). 2. WWS: Speed at which Witikko moves. 


	3. Enter Slapsy

Disclaimer: We the Three Wackos do not own anything other then us.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Ahhh." yelled a voice.  
  
Matt and Jez walked around a tree and saw Kana running straight at them at WWS. She ran into a tree and the tree fell down.  
  
"Ouch." groaned Kana.  
  
She staggered to her feet and walked towards them.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Jez.  
  
"This guy with coconuts came out of Nowhere. Look there he is!!"  
  
She pointed through the trees at.a Patsy look alike.  
  
"Ohhh.That's Slapsy be careful he likes to slap his coconuts." Stated Patsy.  
  
And indeed he did. Matt, Kana and Jez followed the coconut beater till he went behind a tree.  
  
"Where did he go?" asked Jez.  
  
"Why was he banging his coconuts?" asked Kana.  
  
Matt feeling he must ask something asked:  
  
"Why is poop brown?"  
  
"Hey this is where he came out of!! Nowhere!" stated Kana.  
  
She looked around for a second then she grabbed a branch and pulled down. The side of the tree disappeared and a sign appeared that looked like this:  
  
NoWhere Open 24 Hours v  
  
"See he came out of NoWhere." Said Kana as she started to walk down the stairs under the tree.  
  
Matt looked at Jez and shrugged. They followed Kana down the stairs. When Matt and Jez got to the bottom they were surprised to see a neon sign over a brightly lit doorway. It read:  
  
Welcome to NoWhere From Here You Can Go Somewhere or Elsewhere! Open 24 Hours Not Open on Taco Tuesday  
  
"Interesting." Matt said as he raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Indeed." Replied Jez.  
  
With that they entered NoWhere. The first thing they noticed was the bar, but the second thing they noticed was Kana flirting with an obviously drunk man. Matt and Jez walked over to Kana. As they got near Matt noticed a sign over the mans head. It read:  
  
Beware: Town Drunk v  
  
"Kana we have to go." Matt said.  
  
"Why?" asked Kana.  
  
Matt pointed to the sign.  
  
"Okay, lets go." she said after reading it.  
  
They walked a short distance and they stopped to talk.  
  
"He was nice."  
  
"Who was?"  
  
"Jorge."  
  
"Who?!"  
  
"The Town Drunks name is Jorge."  
  
"Ohhh.Okay."  
  
"He gave me this." Kana showed Matt and Jez a piece of paper.  
  
"What does it say on the top?"  
  
"It says the Trojan Hippo."  
  
"The Trojan Hippo."  
  
"Jez!! We could use the Trojan Hippo to get into that castle."  
  
"You know that just might work."  
  
Three hours later the Hippo was outside the castle door. The door opened and it was wheeled in.  
  
"Yeah, we're in!!"  
  
"It worked!!"  
  
"Good thing we remembered to get in."  
  
"Does anyone else have a bad feeling about this?"  
  
"Now that you mention it."  
  
Jez never finished, while the three had talked the Hippo had been put on a catapult and the same catapult had just thrown the Hippo.  
  
"I think we're in the air." said Matt.  
  
"Ahhh." screamed Jez and Kana  
  
"Abandon Hippo!!!" yelled Jez.  
  
As a group they jumped out and fell. And fell some more. And since there was nothing better to do they fell some more.  
  
The Town Drunk was on the ground under them.  
  
"Hiccup.It's a bird.Hiccup.It's a plane.Hiccup.No wait it's the girl from the bar."  
  
With that Jez, Matt and Kana landed on him.  
  
"Hicc.Ouch!!"  
  
"Wow, good thing Jorge was there to break our fall." Said Kana as she goggled at him.  
  
"Good thing he was to drunk to fell any pain." Said Matt as he spotted a paper bag with a bottle in it.  
  
"Ya, good thing. Normally I would bet that he would pass out from pain." Stated Jez.  
  
"Ya, instead he passed out from drinking to much." Said Matt, as Jorge passed out.  
  
Well that's all. We have great news the next chapter will be written by Jez, who until now has yet to write a single thing in a Wacko fic. So look forward to that.  
  
~Kana, Matt, Jez~ 


	4. The William Tell Game

Disclaimer: We the Wackos don't own a gosh darn thing in this fic.  
  
Chapter 4 (Jez's writing *gasp* oh my god, she finally wrote something.)  
  
"So, now what?" Jez demanded, gazing at the odd foliage covering the canopy of their forest retreat.  
  
"Umm, I don't know." Matt answered, being his usual dumb self.  
  
"Hey, I think he's waking up." Kana said excitedly.  
  
"Quien esta aqui? Quien esta aqui?" Jorge sputtered out so rapidly that even Kana had trouble understanding him.  
  
Matt stared at Jorge in shock trying to figure out what the Spanish drunk just said.  
  
Meanwhile, Jez was laughing hysterically at Matt's lack of knowledge in the Spanish language.  
  
"Jorge," Kana said soothingly, "You have to speak in English, otherwise Matt won't be able to understand you."  
  
"Isn't that a good thing." Jez stated, "I mean it's a perfect opportunity to confuse Matt."  
  
"But Jez, Matt's a fellow wacko, we have to be at least a little bit nice to him."  
  
"No we don't."  
  
She was about to object, and her hand went up with staccato movements before pointing at Jez, "True." Turning to Jorge, "Never mind, speak in whatever language you desire."  
  
Jorge began to speak Elvish.  
  
"You know Elvish!?!?!" Squealed Kana as she glomped[1] him, "Teach me!!!!"  
  
Jez took this opportunity to play "William Tell" with Matt. Or, at least her version of the game.  
  
"J-Jez? What are you d-doing?" Matt stammered nervously.  
  
Grinning maniacally Jez replied, "Just calm down and trust me."  
  
"Trust you!?! You've cut my head off before!"  
  
(This part was added by Matt to fix a small mistake that Jez originally made when she typed it up)  
  
Narrator: WAIT A MINUTE YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!  
  
"Why not?" asked Matt.  
  
Narrator: IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TILL THE HOGWARTS FIC!!!!  
  
"Hey!! Now you've spoiled the secret of the fourth Wacko fic you idiot."  
  
Narrator: SO WHAT!!! WHILE I'M AT IT I'M GOING TO SPOIL THE FUN AND TELL THEM ABOUT THE THIRD FIC.  
  
"You wouldn't"  
  
Narrator: I WOULD!!! IT'S CALLED..  
  
"Shut up!!!! Both of you. I fix it any ways." Jez yelled  
  
(Back to original)  
  
As Matt continues to whine and complain about all the injustices done to him over the years by the hand of Jez, she tuned him out preparing her various weapons.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"No! Do you know how much my insurance is going to cost after this?"  
  
"Your parents pay for it. And besides if I miss, it's not like you'll have anything to lose."  
  
Matt looked down, and squeaked. After being tied up to a tree and an apple pinned between his legs; things weren't looking too good.  
  
"Only a girl could get that high, Matt. Sheesh, not I can get my voice that.unless I'm watching anime. At any rate. One." Bow is ready, Matt trembles.  
  
"Two."  
  
Evil grin, Matt really begins to shake.  
  
"Three!"  
  
Arrow is shot, neatly imbedding itself in Matt's.actually it didn't hit Matt at all, but it didn't hit the apple either. Rather it buried itself in the tree bark in-between the top of the apple and the bottom of, this author won't go there, it would be giving Matt too much credit for something he doesn't even have, stupid fairy-boy.  
  
Realizing everything was silent Matt was brave enough to open an eye enough to see the end result. Immense relief washed over his face, only to be replaced with some form of anger. "It is against Wacko hierarchy to harm another Wacko in any physical way shape, and/or, form in the context of a story!"  
  
Jez looked up from her current occupation of checking the balance and sharpness of her throwing knives. "Wacko hierarchy? What kind of bull are you talking about now?" Rolling her eyes Jez's attention went back to the blades.  
  
Matt's face was turning a healthy shade of red, quite a dramatic difference from the pale frost tone it had held only a few moments ago. He struggled against the restraints binding him to his torture stake, but in vain. "I am the second Wacko! I outrank you!"  
  
Jez's cool glance didn't deter him; stupidity knows no boundaries.  
  
"Kana and I decided that a long time ago. We both outrank you!" he continued, "So untie me, now!" His breathing was heavy, and somehow Matt's face managed to form a believable scowl.  
  
A definite thud next to his ear wiped the glower away, shock replacing it as Jez's blade landed inches from Matt's head. "Is wussy boy to weak to get out himself?" She taunted, "And since when have I ever cared about rank? And." She cut off Matt's inevitable protest by waving a second blade threateningly. "Where was I when you established the 'Wacko hierarch'?"  
  
"It doesn't matter, I outrank you. You cannot hurt me! It would violate the Wacko Code of Wackiness. It's in the unwritten rules."  
  
He had her there. Silently Jez debated over what to do. She couldn't just let him go, that would take out all the fun of it, not to mention make her look like she had a heart, or even.emotions. She shuddered at the thought, no, she couldn't let him go. But she couldn't hurt him either. The unwritten rules.curse them.  
  
Suddenly, it dawned on her. What if she didn't actually hurt him physically. But freaked him out a little, okay a lot. And what was she thinking, she was Jez was she not? It was stated in the unwritten rules that if she so desired she did not have to adhere to these unwritten rules!  
  
A chuckle built in her throat, and grew until the surrounding area reverberated with the chilling echoes of her laughter.  
  
"Jez.? Are you.okay?" asked Matt hesitantly.  
  
Her eyes were bright and she seemed.bouncy. "Never better!" Jez flashed Matt a winning grin.  
  
Hanging his head in defeat Matt mumbled to himself, "You found a loophole didn't you."  
  
The false angelic look was quickly replaced by vigorous nodding, "Mhm-hmm."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I am Jez, the Third Wacko, therefore I do not have to adhere to the unwritten rules if they conflict against my very nature."  
  
"Crud."  
  
Matt's following stream of curses was cut short by several knives outlining Matt at about the same velocity of WWS. It was too much for the poor soul, overcome with shock he passed out.  
  
Inspecting him quizzically Jez began to undo the rope. "He lasted longer than I thought he would. Not bad."  
  
No longer restrained by the ropes the tortured Wacko face planted himself on the ground as Jez happily picked up her toys.  
  
Later, when Kana returned with the town drunk, she was met with the scene of Matt still face down in front of a scarred tree, and Jez smiling contentedly to herself, gazing serenely at the canopy above.  
  
Well folks that's all. I hope you liked Jez's chapter as much as she seems to have. ~Kana, Matt, Jez~  
  
  
  
----------------------- [1] Glomped: A cross between a hug and a tackle. 


	5. Matt's Revenge

Disclaimer: We the Wackos own very little, we don't own anything that could get us sued.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Matt woke up and looked around. It was nighttime and the last thing he remembered was.William Tell.Jez style. The three were laying on the ground around a small a small campfire. There was a bucket of water a short distance away from the fire. Matt looked from Jez to the water and then to the fire and back again. An evil grin slowly crept across his face.  
  
* * *  
  
Matt was awoken an hour later by a disgusted growl. He sat up and looked over towards Jez and started to laugh.  
  
"Someone wet her bed!" Matt yelled out through fits of laughter.  
  
"Shut up!! Someone did this to me!!"  
  
She glared at Matt.  
  
"You." she growled out as she lunged at him. They rolled around together as Jez tried to choke him. They were interrupted by the now awake Kana.  
  
"Would you two get a room?!"  
  
They stopped rolling around and Jez backed away still glaring at him.  
  
"Where did Jorge go?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The Town Drunk.he was sleeping." Kana trailed off.  
  
Matt and Jez gave her an odd look.  
  
"He was sleeping near me."  
  
"Right.either way I don't know where he went." Stated Jez.  
  
"We should get going.where are Patsy and company?" questioned Matt as he looked around for them.  
  
"Right here boss."  
  
"Where did you come from?"  
  
"NoWhere."  
  
"Which is where?"  
  
"NoWhere."  
  
"Did we already go through this?"  
  
"Yes, sir I believe we did."  
  
"Anyways.we must continue the search for the village idiot." Matt looked around for a second then lead the way off through the woods.  
  
After an hour of walking through the woods, Jez and Kana were questioning Matt's sense of direction.  
  
"Matt we've been walking for an hour and we haven't seen a single thing." Jez complained.  
  
"I've seen trees." Kana stated as her eyes lit up.  
  
"Ohh.Ohh.I've seen that look before she just got an idea."  
  
"Did not." She grinned and walked by Jez and Matt.  
  
"Anyways, I think we're lost Matt."  
  
"We are not.I know exactly where we are." Matt stated with utmost confidence.  
  
"Then where are we?" Jez questioned him.  
  
"We are.we are.right here."  
  
"And right here is.?"  
  
"Right here."  
  
"Which is where?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Now."  
  
"Which is when?"  
  
"Then."  
  
Patsy and company bobbed their heads back and forth trying to follow the conversation. Had it not been for a load thud up ahead their necks would have become very sore indeed.  
  
"Kana?"  
  
The gang ran along through the woods searching for the blond wonder. They found her plastered to a large board next to a path.  
  
"Kana?"  
  
They heard an unintelligible answer spew forth from Kana. Matt and Jez carefully pealed her off of the board and set her down on the ground.  
  
"What happened Kana?"  
  
"I walked into that stupid board."  
  
"I know where we are!" Matt exclaimed.  
  
"We're here I know that but where is here?!" Jez growled out.  
  
"Castle TicTac."  
  
"Castle TicTac? If this follows the movie at all then wouldn't that be Castle Anthrax."  
  
"No." Matt pointed at the sign "Castle TicTac."  
  
"Ohh.Copyright Laws?"  
  
"Umm.hmm.So I'm guessing this Castle isn't filled with fair maidens." Matt pouted.  
  
"Well let's check it out anyways." Jez marched up the path and towards the large door. The others looked at each other and having no better idea's followed Jez to the door.  
  
After knocking they waited for someone to answer.  
  
Two hours later Matt was reaching to knock on the door for what must have been the 500 hundredth time when the door finally yawned open.  
  
"Hello sorry that took so long. There are a lot of doors so it took some time to figure out where the knocking was coming from."  
  
"No proble." Matt was interrupted as a blur raced past him and grabbed the man holding the door open.  
  
"What the?!"  
  
"He's Russian!!" Kana squealed.  
  
Matt and Jez looked at each other and shook their heads.  
  
"Umm.we all are."  
  
"We? You mean there's more of you!!!"  
  
"Yes, hundreds of us all alone in this castle."  
  
"Any women?" Matt inquired.  
  
"Unfortunately, no."  
  
"Hmmm.must get lonely."  
  
"We get along. Anyways please join us for a feast."  
  
After the feast and Kana getting every Russians signed picture they were taken to their rooms. Kana and the squires had all been shown to their rooms and Eugenie was showing Jez and Matt to their rooms.  
  
"Here's your room." He said as he opened a door.  
  
The two blinked in shock.  
  
"Ours?" they asked together.  
  
"Yes, we only have a few empty rooms."  
  
"No.No.I will not share a room with him." Jez sputtered out.  
  
"She would kill me in my sleep."  
  
"You two don't like each other?"  
  
"NO!!" they both yelled.  
  
"Ohh.well she kept punching you, and I thought that meant you liked each other."  
  
"Umm.no.Have him switch with Kana."  
  
"Alright. I will make the switch then."  
  
After the bedroom incident was solved the group went to sleep. In the morning before they set out they asked Eugenie if he knew where they could find the Village Idiot.  
  
"I do not know but if you ask the wise man that some call Tom he might know."  
  
After drawing a detailed map on how to get there he sent them on their way.  
  
Well all that's it for now! Sorry, it's taken so long to get a new chapter finished but we promise that we'll be better about it from now on.  
  
~Kana, Matt, Jez~ 


	6. The Knights Who Say Knee

Disclaimer: We the Wackos own very little, so don't even bother suing us because you will only get a run down ford fiesta, a four wheeler with only three wheels and a few gum wrappers.

Chapter 6

About an hour later Jez and Matt realized that something wasn't right. They were in the middle of a clearing trying to figure out which way was north.

"That way is North." Stated Jez as she pointed to her right.

"No, judging by the moss on this tree, that way is north." He pointed the opposite direction.

"What does moss have to do with anything?"

"Well...I...it just does okay."

"We're lost again aren't we?"

"No...I know exactly where we are." He said as he looked down at their map.

"Where?"

"Right here."

"Ohh...no not this again." She glared at him. "I told you we should have asked that lady with the cat which way to go, but noooo you know where we are. What is it with men and asking for directions?"

"Fine lets ask for directions." Matt started to look around for someone to ask.

"We're in the middle of a forest there's no one to ask you idiot!"

"I knew that..."

"Kana which way do you think we should go?" Jez said as she turned around.

But Kana wasn't behind her.

"Umm...where's Kana." Asked Jez.

"I thought she was right behind us."

They started to back track towards the entrance to the clearing when a bush on their right began to shake.

"Kana is that you?" asked Matt timidly.

As the bush parted and Matt saw what was coming through he fainted. Jez screamed and ran away only to hit her head on a low branch, which knocked her unconscious. A large shadow loomed over their still bodies.

Meanwhile, back at Castle TicTac Kana was spending some quality time with Eugenie by the lake.

"Ohh...Eugenie it's so big." Cooed Kana.

"I know." Eugenie responded.

"And so shiny."

"I try to wax it everyday."

"How fast can you go?"

"As fast as you want."

"Ohh..."

"Could you help me roll this off?"

"Sure thing." Kana said as she walked over to stand by Eugenie.

She helped him crank the boat down into the water and then they both clambered on board and set off on their picnic.

Jez shook Matt roughly to wake him up but when that didn't work she slapped him on the face. He jolted straight upward and looked at her.

"Ouch that hurt!" he exclaimed.

"Ohh...shut up you pansy. I didn't hit you that hard."

"I can feel the imprint in my skull!"

"Does he always complain like this?" boomed a voice from behind them.

"Yes." Responded Jez as Matt picked himself off the ground.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"SHUT UP! I want to get this scene done with so I can have lunch." Stated the voice.

Matt looked over at the rather large figure. He had two heads resting on his shoulders.

"Alright, who are you?" ask Matt.

"We are the Knights Who Say Knee!"

A deer that had been wandering peacefully through the clearing thudded to the ground.

"Hmm...the Knights Who Say Ni. This is one of the best parts of the movie."

"No, not Ni. Knee..." the Knight tried to explain.

A hawk that had happened to be flying over head let out a screech and fell out of the sky.

"Knee...as in the knee on my leg."

Two panda's who were getting particularly friendly in a nearby bush both made odd noises and fell on top of each other.

"Yes, Knee not Ni."

A large toad croaked.

"Ohh...okay." Said Matt finally comprehending.

"Now, where were we..." The two headed man pulled out a script. "Ahh...yes, here we are. We, that is us three."

"Three? But there's only two of you." Pointed out Jez.

"No, there's three of us."

"Where's the third head then?" asked Matt.

"He didn't get quite as nice a spot as us. Come on now wake up down there!" the Knight slapped his thighs together.

Matt and Jez looked down at the mans legs and saw a head slip out from under the Knights skirt thing.

"What have I missed?"

"It's our scene you imbecile!" screamed the other two heads.

"Well you don't have to yell."

"Alright, what we the Knights Who Say Knee," A mosquito that had been about to bite them bit the big one. "demand that you bring us panties."

Matt and Jez looked at them in disbelief.

"Panties? What the heck do you need panties for?"

"Well you see head number three has been complaining about how rough the conditions are down there so we figure some soft silky panties would soften things up a bit."

Matt and Jez just stared at them.

"What's in it for us?" asked Matt warily.

"If you get us the panties we won't kill you."

"Well that sounds reasonable..."

"And we'll even lead you to Tom."

"Wow...that's a good deal. Jez give him your panties."

Matt's second imprint was bigger then the first. Matt and Jez walked off into the forest looking for some unused panties.

"I don't see why you couldn't have given them yours." Complained Matt.

Jez raised her hand ominously.

"However, I'm sure we'll find some just lying around her somewhere." Matt said hastily.

They walked around randomly for about half hour before exiting into another clearing. They both stopped they were in a large parking lot.

"You've got to be kidding me." Groaned Jez.

They looked across the enormous parking lot at the even bigger Wal Mart (To readers: please note we do not own. To Wal Mart: Please don't sue us for using your name. Look at it this way you're getting free advertisement.)

"It's even a SuperCenter!" exclaimed Matt as he rushed towards the door.

Three hours later they came out laden with bulging bags of panties.

"Wow, I can't believe that took so long." Matt said as he looked at his watch.

"Well when you try on every pair in the store." Grumbled Jez.

"I wanted to make sure head number three had the silkiest ones available." Matt explained.

"Whatever." Jez said rolling her eyes.

Roughly a half hour later they came meandering into the clearing where the Knights Who Say Knee were.

"Wow...that's a lot of panties." They exclaim as they rummaged through the bags.

"Just out of curiosity why didn't you guys just go and buy some?" asked Jez

"We have a reputation. We can't be see buying panties. Now I believe we had an agreement. We will now take you to Tom."

"That's great but you see we were traveling with some other people and they're all missing."

"No we aren't sir." Patsy said.

"Where have you been?" questioned Matt.

"NoWhere of course."

"Again...Anyways, we're still missing Kana."

There was a loud scream heard from above and Kana fell from the sky. Closely followed by Jorge. They landed with a soft thump in the pile of panties.

"Ewww..." Kana cried as she climbed out of the undergarments.

"I'm home!" shouted Jorge as he bounded through them. (To this day no one is exactly sure what Jorge meant by this.)

"Where were you?" Jez asked Kana.

"I was still at Castle TicTac with Eugenie."

"How did you get here?"

"Well Eugenie and I were out on his huge boat when Jorge appeared out of NoWhere. He was in a drunken stupor and knocked Eugenie from the boat. Before we could rescue him a whale surfaced under us and blew water from it blow hole. We were launched into the air."

"Ohh...then where's the..." started Matt but a loud thud was heard behind them as the boat landed on the bush hiding the aforementioned panda's who had just regained consciousness and where resuming their frisk behavior. After an awkward moment the Knights Who Say Knee led them away to find Tom.

Well all we're sorry it's taken so long for a new chapter. We've had a lot going on what with graduating and such. gasp I know it's hard to believe. Hopefully, us being gradamated won't effect the Wacko fics or at least not the current one, and quite possibly not the next one or so since they were partially written and set in the high school environment. However, Kana will be moving away to college while Jez and I stay here and go to a local college. Though due to the fact that Kana will have email and such I don't see how that will affect the writing portion. Nevertheless, once this fic and the next one are finished we will be changing the setting so it reflects the new change in our environment. Don't worry, it will be relatively the same, yet different. If I can be any vaguer let me know. Granted I, Matt, haven't exactly run this by Kana, or Jez...Anyways, I'm just randomly babbling now so thanks for reading and please review. Ohh...and it is quite possible that I'll be uploading a new Wacko fic that one of our friends wrote all by himself...and it's longer too...really puts us to shame...and he finished in under a week or two...but first I have to check and see if it's alright for me to post it. Anyways, till the next chapter!

Kana, Matt, Jez


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